


say no to this

by solarprominence



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Underage Kissing, if ya know what I mean, kinda between a rock and a hard place there, ok basically young laurent comes on to oldish damen who has to tell him no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8450032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarprominence/pseuds/solarprominence
Summary: "Laurent? Are you alright?"
"Damianos."
"Laurent."
"You are the only one that makes me feel anything."
(In which Laurent has to wait.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first fic ever wtf! It's your basic "Auguste's not dead, the Regent's foiled" au, I suppose, but I wanted to do a bit of a character study on what Laurent would be like if he hadn't spent his teenage years and young adulthood playing a life-or-death game of chess against his uncle. He's also much easier to write without all those plots in his head, I'm not C. S. Pacat, but I'd like to give that a go at some point as well.  
> I'm not doing NaNoWriMo but I always wish I could, and I NEVER write at all, so I figure beginning to post stuff this November is a good starting point.

"You know, if my horse weren't so tired I'd think we'd been riding for five minutes."

Damen laughed. "An engaging conversation tends to have that effect. And we are riding uphill. We should probably turn back, Auguste wanted to see you before supper."

The two turn their horses around and pause at the top of the trail they had just climbed. Westward, the sun threatened to fall towards the turrets of the Veretian palace where Damen was staying. He drew in a breath as Laurent went to start onwards, but both stopped at the last second.

Laurent looked at Damen expectantly, a gesture to continue his thought. "It's nothing. Just a thought."

"Don't underestimate a thought, Damianos."

"It's just a pondering, then. I sometimes wonder what might have happened if I had... if I had won the battle against Auguste, and your uncle had won against your father. And my brother against my father, I suppose. I... wonder what you would have been like, how you would have grown up."

"Well, callous and cruel, I suppose, although hopefully much more tactically brilliant. I'd be fighting my uncle's mind, not his sword, for survival. But I'd feel quite deprived of this childhood, and I can't imagine growing up without you." Laurent averted his gaze, his mouth curling sourly, as if he'd said too much.

"Oh, you'd probably never be able to let your guard down around anyone, let alone the man who bested your brother."

"You can say ‘killed’, Damen, I'm not thirteen."

"I wouldn't have killed him, who do you take me for?"

"I was at the battle, you know, I could see as well as anyone that if the messenger hadn't halted the battle, one or both of you would have ended up dead."

"And what if I had ended up dead?"

Laurent glanced at Damen, the sun catching his pale eyelashes. "I would never know the sort of buffoonery I have to deal with now."

Damen snorted before he could play wounded, and Laurent grinned unbridledly.

////

_"Damianos?"_

_"Laurent? What are you doing up?"_

_"What are you doing up? I don't have a bedtime and you have a meeting tomorrow morning."_

_Damen sighed in admission. "You're right, I should be sleeping too. What is it?"_

_"I just wanted to visit."_

_"Visit?"_

_"Mhm."_

_"Do you mean go take another horse riding lesson in the middle of the night?"_

_"That was one night, and I couldn't sleep. And you've still got a meeting in the morning."_

_"Alright, but I'm going to bed once I'm finished this letter to your diplomats."_

_"Why are you writing to Vere? The king and prince are here right now, just discuss it with us."_

_"I would if it were important. I'm just letting them know you'll be staying a while longer in Akielos, so they need not prepare for your arrival home so soon."_

_"...Oh." Laurent sat down and rested his head on his hands on the table. Mention of the extended visit would usually cause the boy to at least crack a smile, but tonight Laurent looked almost tense, despite his sleepy demeanour. Damen finished his sentence, then set his pen back in its holder, moved the letter aside and set his head on his hands to mirror Laurent._

_"Laurent."_

_"Damianos."_

_"Is there something bothering you?"_

_"No."_

_One of Damen's eyebrows rose, and he sat up again. Laurent did as well. Damen stood and went to pull of his outer layers to prepare for bed. He sat down on the edge._

_"Well, if there was something you wanted to tell me, you'd better build up the nerve quick," he said, patting the sheet beside him to invite Laurent to sit down. Instead, Laurent stood up from his chair, expression neutral but eyes intense, and came to stand directly in front of Damen, almost between his knees. Damen looked up into Laurent's face and felt his chest tense, he leaned back a little on his hands to try to reestablish some personal space. Laurent's closed hands came down to sit on Damen's thighs, nowhere intimate but just high up enough to make Damen realize Laurent had placed his hands very consciously. Damen's brow tensed a little._

_"Laurent? Are you alright?"_

_"Damianos."_

_"Laurent."_

_"You are the only one that makes me feel anything."_

_"What?"_

_"You know how I mean—I've looked at all the servants in both of our palaces, thought about what it would be like to do it, even stolen a kiss from a boy in court—but none of it appeals to me. At all. But sometimes I've... thought about what it would be like to kiss you. And that is the only thing that I actually wanted to do."_

_Damen hadn't moved an inch, but their foreheads almost touched. Rather than meet Damen's eyes, Laurent was staring into the v-shape at the top of Damen's undershirt, which Damen had intended to remove after Laurent left. This was not what Damen had expected from the young prince. Laurent moved his hands from closed on Damen's thighs up to his broad shoulders. Damen sucked in a breath just as Laurent reached up with his mouth and kissed Damen. It was chaste, and Damen made sure to keep his lips sealed, but did not freeze or shy away. He allowed the boy to lead the kiss to its natural conclusion, before Damen leaned back again._

_"Laurent?"_

_"Damianos."_

_"I realize that affairs with young boys are much more common in the Veretian court, but although... God, I cannot think of a way to parse this without either insulting you or giving you false hope that you can seduce me. But although you're very lovely, I cannot in good conscience court—" Laurent kissed Damen again, more forcefully this time, toppling him backwards onto his bed with Laurent suspending himself above Damen's chest, knees on either side of Damen's hips. Damen wasn't sure whether he was allowing Laurent to continue it, or allowing himself to enjoy it for another minute, but eventually he pushed on Laurent's side to release the kiss. Laurent sat up on his stomach._

_"Alright, I just want you to imagine for a moment that your brother walked in this room about five seconds ago. Do you really think I would ever see the light of day ever again?"_

_"I was on top of you! He'd only kill you if you were the instigator."_

_"Please, Laurent, please give me five years. Five years before you do that again, and then I can court you properly, and comfortably for my own sake. Then we can do all the kissing you like. But right now you are fourteen—"_

_"—Nearly fifteen—"_

_"—And I am nearing twenty and trust me, there is not a single long-term decision I would entrust to my fourteen-year-old self."_

_"Well, that's an insult to my intelligence—"_

_"No, no, that's an insult to the age. I will trust your judgement in five years, and if you keep pining after me until then, that's fine, but my own judgement is telling me not to touch a child."_

_(Laurent thought very hard about knocking Damianos back down and raking his hands down his front, stripping his own clothes off and touching Damen until he broke him down but he didn't. He didn't because he was, if not sensible, then respectful. But God did he ever want to see if he could break Damen.)_

_(He could wait five years to break Damen. If he wasn't sensible, he was patient.)_

_So Damen waited for five years, waiting for Laurent to realize that he did like other people than Damen, and if Damen had ever wanted a chance at Laurent he should have taken it while he was vulnerable. And Damen watched in intervals as Laurent grew into the most beautiful, and quickest, person Damen had ever laid eyes on. And Laurent never touched a slave or a pet on either side of the border. Damen couldn't quite tell whether it was because he was waiting for Damianos, or because he genuinely didn't want them._

////

They rode back down the hill side by side, both in a spirited mood. As they reached the stables, dismounted and began unsaddling the horses, the mood settled peacefully. They were now in the shadow of the palace, the sky beside them turning into a brilliant palette of pinks and oranges. The Veretian evening had cooled enough to raise goosebumps on Damen's bare arms. It was cool nights like these that made Damen realize why Veretian fashion was so encasing, it was to survive the nights where you couldn't feel your limbs.

"Laurent?"

"Damen."

"Stop it. I was just going to ask whether you were going to indulge the request of Torveld, the Patran delegate, after your party tonight?"

"No, I'm not going to follow him to the gardens after dinner and swoon into his arms for the sake of diplomacy. I have other ways of easing Patran trading tensions than bedding the prince," Laurent said derisively.

Damen's brow furrowed. "He didn't proposition you, Laurent."

"He intends to, though, and I don't plan on handing him that opportunity only to insult him."

Damen began brushing down his horse, though he didn't have to. "You don't want to court him at all? He's fairly fit, and he's kinder than most suitors."

Laurent, quickly brushing down his own mare, rolled his eyes. "He's over twice my age, and I'm not interested. There are kinder, fitter, smarter options."

"Like who?"

Laurent looked up at Damen, who focused on his work. "Damen, if you want me to tell you what I'm thinking, just ask."

Asking doesn't usually work. Laurent wanted to tell him what he was thinking. "I am asking. What are you thinking, then?"

"I'm thinking that I'm nineteen tonight, and I haven't forgotten my own embarrassing crush from five years ago. I also think that what I said then still stands true, after five more years of discreet experimentation: You are the only one who makes me feel anything."

Damen looked up at Laurent, who was trying his best to hold Damen's gaze neutrally despite the redness in his face. He put down his brush and slowly approached Laurent, who looked up as though the height difference between them didn't exist. Damen lifted his hands to cup Laurent's face lightly, and leaned down to press a warm kiss to Laurent's lips. Laurent's hands lifted to Damen's shoulders as he deepened the kiss, and then his hands slid down Damen's body to hold his hips tightly. The kiss broke and Laurent gasped, like he was finally able to breathe after many years. "Promise me something, Damen," he said in a low tone.

"Yes," Damen responded.

"Don't treat me like a doll or a child. We are equals. You've helped trained me, you know how strong I am. Don't treat me like you used to when I was younger."

"Laurent, I've seen how strong you are in a lot of ways. You're the strongest man I know—" Laurent cut off Damen's words and Damen responded in kind.

////

Damen couldn't stop staring at Laurent. Laurent occasionally glared at Damen or jabbed him with a spoon as a reminder to act more naturally, but Damen felt as though a floodgate had been opened that he couldn't close, not for tonight at least. Auguste pulled him aside at some point, ready to tell him to back down, Laurent was a good friend but he obviously wasn't interested, until Laurent caught Auguste's eye and shook his head with a small half-smile. Auguste frowned and turned back to Damen, and asked him if something had happened. Damen promised he would treasure Laurent's affections for as long as he had them, with Auguste's blessing. Laurent cut between them and smoothly grabbed Damen's wrist behind him on the way out. Auguste's eyes widened behind them as they disappeared into the hallway outside the room where Laurent's birthday celebration was being held.

"You're much better than I am at hiding your feelings," Damen said breathlessly, walking far closer to Laurent than he ever had.

"Obviously. I've had practice. It's a good skill to have," Laurent said, as they reached a flight of stairs. They passed an attendant who carefully avoided eye contact and continued past them. They reached Laurent's room quickly and Laurent led Damen inside and shut the door. Damen spun Laurent around and kissed him back into the door. It felt like a release, like everything Damen didn't know he had been waiting for had finally converged to where it was supposed to be.

"Don't you think that was rude of you, to leave Torveld in the middle of a conversation to whisk another man away?"

"I've already tied that loose end up, and I couldn't deal with any more well-wishers with you standing there like a carrot on a string." Laurent pushed Damen away, then advanced on him until Damen's knees hit the bed. He sat down as Laurent straddled him and sat in his lap, kissing him openly. "Can I show you what I would have done five years ago, had you been more perverted?"

"I'm glad I wasn't, because this is much better than it was," Damen gasped, gazing reverently up at Laurent's impassioned eyes, dilated pupils framed by soft, long lashes. This was definitely worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form want to encourage underage/overage relations, by law that is considered rape, and the imbalance of power is rly gross and lends itself to abuse and unhealthy relationships. Damen knows this and is on basically the same page, but he also knows that teens and preteens explore sexuality and shouldn't be shamed. But he knows where the boundaries lie.


End file.
